atonement

new strength/weights program that takes an hour and a half

(not too shabby considering i finished work at 7.15am and have to be back there at 10.30pm tonight)

atonement

treadmill - run 15 min, walk 5 min
crosstrainer - 15 min

30 minute boxing session - focus on arms

injuries sustained at the gym today

• bruise to front of thigh from walking into chair
• scratch to eyelid due to not taking tag off new towel

lolcat of the day

i fucking love it

when people that absolutely rate themselves as "smart", "witty", "insightful", "creative", "clever" and "arty" etc etc ad nauseum

can't spell, punctuate, conjugate or construct sentences

but especially when they write eye wateringly terrible poetry about how great they think they are incorporating spelling atrocities of olympic standard

(these people tend to clump together so they can rah rah rah on about how awesome they think they are)

snicker

now, i need to find my ladder so i can climb down and resume my day

lament for the numb

i'm feeling rough
i'm feeling raw
i'm in the prime of my life

so where the bloody hell are ya?

atonement

treadmill - run 15 min, walk 5 min
bike - 20 min (11.6km)
crosstrainer - 5 min

atonement

treadmill - 15 min run, 5 min walk (commence sustained perspiration after 4min 28 sec)
crosstrainer - 20 min starting at level 10 and maintaining for 10 min at level 14 (trust me, it's vewwy vewwy hard)
bike - 20 min (11.6km) (stoopid crippling calf cramp - you can bugger right off and never never come back)

full pressups - 11 (that's nearly 50, you know - got my eyes right on that gold certificate)
crunches - 30

i had to conquer a very big fear at the gym tonight - the only treadmill left was the one situated right in front of a full length mirror

so apologies to those trying to go about their pushing play who had to look at my big fat arse in the mirror as i run lola runned

(it's up there with the time earlier this year that i was brave enough to strip right off and have a proper shower in the communal open showers at moana pool. ladies, you know what kind of inner fortitude that takes, don't you?)

and now, i'm totally, utterly and completely drained of any type of interest in the rest of the day (all 28 minutes of it) - so nighty night to y'all

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

spot on

i am having a VERY BAD SKIN day today

this does not mean that my skin is being naughty and needs a time out

it means that the hormonal havoc i've apparently wreaked upon myself through reasonably sustained and effortful training over the last few months (see all 'atonement' posts if you will) is written all over my face

so

to all those people who used to call me a bitch for having good skin throughout the approximate years 1987 - 2008

feel free to get up and dance that schadenfreude jig

you know you want to

atonement

run/walk on treadmill - 15 min
boxing session - 30 min
crosstrainer - 20 min


oooh oooh oooh, richard said he will make me a GOLD CERTIFICATE if i can do 50 press ups

("you mean like man style ones?"
"no, i mean 'full ones' - stop calling them 'man style' or 'boy ones'")

atonement

run on treadmill - 5 minutes

30 minute boxing session (upon returning to the main gym the owner will ask you if the sprinklers have gone off and the extremely delicioso gym instructor will choose this moment to gaze upon your dripping and reddened face)

crosstrainer - 20 minutes

the lemonheads

so that's what evan dando is up to these days

it's been a while since 1992's "it's a shame about ray" , the video for which features a certain johnny depp

yes, yes

i'm more than fully aware it's been a while since 1992. period.

(nod to holden for the pic - ta)

a little crabby

ten hour working day that starts with 0545 wake up and includes two hours overtime

maintaining game face for at least 75% of day despite encountering challenging behaviours

feeling of inadequacy and extreme sorrow related to friends who have lost babies and mothers in the last week

ipod that is identified as corrupted and needs factory reset - goodbye last three years of dependable playlists

stoopid food diary that tells no lies

no room in day or energy left over for atonement

a single pillow underneath my single head

the seventeen thousand things i wanted to organise by today but haven't

the cheap chardonnay i resorted to after i found it in the back of the fridge - needs must as the devil drives

chaotic room that needs packed up in order to move on monday

the vague feeling of always being in trouble

i have flights and a partner in crime, but the pavement tickets that allegedly go on sale at 9am tomorrow are nowhere to be found on teh intahwebs

the mis-cut razor chop in my expensive haircut (that i only like 13% of the time anyway) that sticks up like a cheap paintbrush from corstorphine school circa 1983

and

the same old same old that make me so angry i could cry and vomit simultaneously - always a treat

lolcat of the day

some people

have to make it all the fuck about them

all

the

fucking

time

atonement

0635

spin bike - 50 minutes (5 minutes up, five minutes down)

atonement

10 minute walk car - work
10 minute walk work - car

2.5 minute walk on treadmill
15 minute run on treadmill
7.5 walk on treadmill

atonement

treadmill - walk 5 minutes, run 15 minutes, walk 5 minutes
crosstrainer - 15 minutes

30 minute boxing session (don't swear when you have to do the crunches/punches with the medicine ball on your legs because richard will make you do more of them)

atonement

crosstrainer - 5 minutes walk, 15 minute run, 5 minute walk
spin bike - 25 minutes (5 minutes down, five minutes up)
crosstrainer - 20 minutes

lolcat of the day

night shift

have you seen my circadian rhythms?
they're totally out of synch with my zeitgebers

atonement

20 minutes cross trainer
20 minutes run/walk on treadmill
10 minutes boxing

vast array of baseline measurements taken, including humiliating body fat calliper pinching
intensive plan formulated with trainer for the reduction of the chirst

late scratching

crawford farm is now subbing for astrolabe in tonight's event

wowee zowee!

call the crash cart, because my indie rock heart has gone into cardiac arrest

pavement are kickstarting their reunion tour with a concert in auckland, march 1, 2010

i warned you about the implications of this

atonement

0635

run 3km on treadmill

walk 1km on treadmill

lolcat of the day

this is exactly why despite the journey to my own personal hell on my first outside running expedition since 1993 i am aiming to be at world by 0615 tomorrow

because spandex pants are also not friends with wine, rashuns, twisties, mcdonalds, kettle fry chips, snickers, icecream, truckloads of cheese, fish 'n chips and just about everything else i have consumed in the last two weeks

atonement

run 3.5km
walk 1.5km

outside in the real world

and you know what?

baby DOESN'T love to run

"ari gold - wait for backup!"

yesterday i watched season 5 of entourage in it's entirety

sigh

i forgot how much i love ari gold. he makes being angry an art form. and what form with his right hand - glory be to the open palm!

and the first thing i did after i finished watching all twelve episodes?

check the interweb to make sure there's more coming to me in the future - and hello season 6!

yes, yes, i know

it's a full life

chirst's indie rock cocoon - 'cath' by death cab for cutie (2008)

death cab for cutie have featured on chirstamaphone many times before, so it's well past overdue that they get a mention in the indie rock cocoon

i've already posted the clips from the hall of justice sessions for 'talking bird' and 'i will possess your heart', so i've chosen THIS song to showcase my current favourite album of theirs, 'narrow stairs' (2008) (oh look, the indie rock cocoon ventures well out of it's 1990's comfort zone, beware!)

i was sprung by my brother a few months ago, with this song cranked up on the stereo in my cell, playing my best indie rock air guitar and singing my little indie rock heart out with my best seattle accent. we both don't speak of this. ever. in fact, it's like it never happened

i discovered death cab for cutie in 2006, in the shed at the back of ravelston st where we had a black hole set up - i'd go and drink wine, smoke marlboro lights and watch c4 while i handily multitasked, getting my washing dried and talking on the phone. hours would go by, unaccounted for. the death cab for cutie song that hooked me was 'i will follow you into the dark', which is from 2005's 'plans'. vi va ce in hanover st also have it on their karaoke menu, and i've done a reasonable version of it on several occasions. no, no, thank YOU

death cab for cutie's lyrics change from the poignant and persistent flavour of 'i will possess your heart' ("how i wish you could see the potential of you and me, it's like a book elegantly bound, but in a language that you can't read") to that of the reluctant cad apologising for his behaviour in 'someday you will be loved' ("you'll be loved, you'll be loved, like you never have known, and the memories of me will seem more like bad dreams"). there's also the guy who in 'you can do better than me' who "thinks of leaving, but it's something i'll never do, cause you can do better than me, but i can't do better than you"

death cab for cutie have deceptively simple lyrics that just burrow into your brain. you'll find yourself singing them to yourself at all times of the day. supporting these delicious words are a big, dark chocolate bass line, tinkling keyboards and thick velvet drums. benjamin gibbard is the quintessential indie rock geek, with immense cuteness lurking behind his thick rimmed glasses. his voice is driving and insistent, but gentle and delicate when the song requires

i love this song, 'cath'. i especially love the line "she holds a smile as one would hold a crying child". i really believe that mainsteam pop doesn't deliver the same calibre of lyricism that indie rock/pop serves up in abundance, repeatedly

i have a friend named cath, too. and i always think of her when i listen to this song, even though it doesn't match her or her circumstances even remotely. she's an awesome, strong and terribly funny woman who believes in herself. i don't think she'd find herself in the position of the cath of this song

personally, this song serves as something of a warning for me. times have been a little tough recently, and by recently i mean the last couple of years, give or take. i don't want to have "closed the door, on so many men who would have loved you more" and chosen someone less than ideal

it's hard though, when "your heart was dying fast and you didn't know what to do"

ben gibbard - tell me what to do. i'll believe you over dr phil, any day of the week

cold comfort

po tds 7/7

1915 projection

who says virtue is it's own reward?
not
me

i am the all singing, all dancing crap of this world

and i see everything

affirmation of the day

today i will have a lunch break

chirst's indie rock cocoon - 'i am a scientist' by guided by voices (1994)

my goodness gracious me, the discovery of american lo fi in the post goth years of my late teens and early twenties was one of my journeys begun that has so far not had an end

it was the slow dawning of a realisation that cool music didn't just come from manchester or creation records or from boys with fringes that had surrendered to gravity long ago

in the four short months of chirstamaphone i've surely raved a bit on and off about pavement, who were my first (and remain stalwartly biggest) lo fi indie rock loves, and there's even some sebadoh and dinosaur jr to be found on here so far, too

it was my wearing of the iconic 'sordid sentinels' pavement t shirt when answering the door to potential flatmates in 1995 that lead jim and kelly into my life. jim had been discovering some of the areas of town that housed people with necks that were red and minds that were narrow. so when the blond haired american boy from ohio with a love of flying nun knocked on the green door which was opened by myself in said t shirt, the first thing he said to me was "oh, thank god!" and jim, kelly, rhys and i were friends ever since. linda and andy of the lo fi den around the corner made us practically a gang. we just needed to work a bit more on the knife fighting, but that's a story for another time

pavement was one of the many building blocks in a friendship that has lasted across a long time and a wide space

but this is ostensibly about guided by voices

jim loves guided by voices, and introduced them to me over the years 1994 - 1997. rhys had bee thousand on vinyl, and i loved chip chop changing between the two fantastic blue records on the flash turntable (just the one, and no microphones), and playing my faves (over and over again, yes, that's correct)

lo fi is deceptive. it makes you feel like "yeah, i can do that!" but you can't, really. gbv are the kings of lo fi for good reason - they make it look enchantingly simple, but it is exquisitely layered and addictive, held together with pure and succinct lyrics soaked in orginal quirk and sometimes echoingly tangible emotion

i'm totally in love with the lyrics of this song. i mean, come on:

"i am a scientist - i seek to understand me
all of my impurities and evils yet unknown
i am a journalist - i write to you to show you
i am an incurable
and nothing else behaves like me"

it's true. nothing else does behaves like me

good thing, really, too. if you ask me

which of course you did

early morning thanks

dear work pants

thanks for still fitting after three weeks holiday

i very much appreciate this

yours
chirst

chirst's indie rock cocoon - 'christine' by the house of love (1988)

at seventeen, just dipping my ten up doc martens into the ever opening world of uk indie pop, i was surprised and delighted to find there was a song about me! me! me! a whole song!

i love the solidity of the song, and guy chadwick's steady, hypnotic and reliable voice playing above the metronomic drums

i liked that there was a song about me, and it was by a band that was a whole house of love

i'd like to live there now. big old warm house of love

forward my mail, would you be so kind? thanks

chirst's indie rock cocoon - 'homeboy' by adorable (1992)

as an angsty seventeen year old i was (and still very much am) a consummate sucker for the poignant and beautiful and somewhat painful lyrics of songs like this

like the wont of most shoegazing bands of the time, adorable have chosen to endow the latter third of this song with chunky chunky guitars, causing a wonderful writhing of exquisite and thick noise overladen with wrenching raw vocals, held together with strong drums

sigh. roll around in it for a while - it's pretty awesome

i used to listen to this on vinyl, and the true deliciousness of the audio quality of good vinyl on an excellent system is palpable. i'd listen to it over and over, and wish that someone would say "you're so beautiful, you're so beautiful" to me (is this why i fall for it time and again of late? is it?)

i wasn't so sure about the "i wanna cut you up, i wanna watch you bleed, ever so slowly" part, though. he sings it so invitingly, but for sure i think it would hurt, and i do like my blood to stay on the inside of me

at the time i had a boyfriend who could quickly pick up the riffs to most of the indie rock cocoon we were listening to at the time - it was very cool and very entertaining to have someone on hand who could play ride's 'vapour trail' (look out for this on a later cocoon, i think) or the verlaines' 'joed out'. it was like my own personal request show - "all indie, all the time!" "no, sing 'joed out' in the ron perlman voice!" "now sing it in burps!" - hey, i didn't purport to be the most matureseventeen year old, nor the least demanding teenage creature ever

i must say, it was quite the happy moment when i stumbled across this - i'd long forgotten about adorable. but as soon as i started listening it did that tricky "pick you up chirsty, whisk you to 1992 with us, stay a while, it's nice" magicky thing

ok, adorable. might just make myself a cup of tea and stay here for a while. cheers

chirst's indie rock cocoon - 'morningrise' by slowdive (1991)

ah, slowdive
perfect find after two glasses of montana reserve sauvignon blanc and my handy dandy notebook

i listened to slowdive, and a lot other bands of the same genre and ilk at that time of 1991/2 but most notably, at this time,i was only listening to those who were from the uk (until obviously, sometime in the very next second, i'm going to find pavement and then it's all american, all guitar, all the time, baby!)

i hear this song and i just think of rhys. he was the best, most committed and cutest shoegazer i ever met in my life. cuter than mark gardener from ride (and ladies, you know that's saying something!) AND he could play a guitar with his very own fender amp. thank you very much, and good night!

oh, those drums, that bass, that guitar, the raspy silken lyrics

but this song is all about the chill out, the chill out and the think of that person that you are/were enmeshed with: "looking back i see you slip away, you seem more beautiful than yesterday"

all girls with an indie rock heart want someone looking back to see them slip away, thinking they're seeming more beautiful than the day before

this could mesh quite well with the theory that boys only want what they can't have, so therefore 'slipping away' would render such a maiden unattainable, and therefore forbiddingly enticing

i just love the slow, wavelike rhythm of this song, and it used to be on the tape i would do my relaxation exercises to

so pavlovian response a go go, i'm now in a state of complete relaxation

chirst's indie rock cocoon - 'soon' by my bloody valentine (1991)

oh hai
and
welcome to the inaugural post in the infrequent series "chirst's indie rock cocoon"

it was going to be "chirst's 90's indie rock cocoon" but i decided to buck against such stringent restriction, being so free spirited and such

i used to love this song so very very much in 1992
i would play it over and over again on my tape deck
two people put it on compliation tapes for me, long before we'd heard of the mix tape theory tendered in 'high fidelity'

so, when i hear this i think of rb and jh
and the pointy hurty triangle

but also when i hear it
i dance around my room just like the 17 year old me that still exists in a parallel universe for all time

even though that was exactly half my life ago

gosh, doesn't time fly when you're having fun?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loveless_(album)