7/7

it's been a whole week since i posted anything
you'd really think i would have written something else by now
it's not like i haven't got anything to say
i've got tons of things to tell you
heaps
plenty
oodles
and i've been promising yesiamberley that i will write her a whole post

but instead i'm in bed with the blanky on 3
watching pavement videos
and avoiding about 4 segments of my life

bear with me, though

there's a new revolution happening and it's taking up a bit of my time

the eclair of my eye

i watched a random episode of 'skins' tonight - random because it was in the middle of season 4, and in chirstworld i've only made it up to the end of season 2. so i have no idea who was who, or what was happening on any significant level, but i still liked it


i watched some of it with princess fiona, who came over for dinner, and she brought HOME MADE CHOCOLATE ECLAIRS!! home made and filled with fresh cream and iced with fresh chocolate icing - om nom nom nom

she brought with her a veritable surfeit of eclairs because she thought i might like to share the remainder with someone else. she is a good person, and she likes to try and see the good in other people. this good - sometimes there's little of it, and it's very diffuse and erratic, so for her to spell this out as her intention and plan for me to enact showed how much she believes in the potential of a situation that really is repetitive and futile.


so after said offering was predictably refused in a charmless fashion, princess fiona and i watched 'skins' together. now, it was very similar to that iconic scene in 'say anything' where lloyd dobler serenades the object of his affection.


in 'skins' this boy, jj, who was a bit of an oddball, gathered a ukelele orchestra together to woo the girl he loved. now, from what i could gather, he had loved her from afar for a while and then he'd cocked it up a bit, so he wanted to make this grand gesture of love.

and it worked

the grand gesture ALWAYS works in the movies and on tv

but in real life it's too hard and too scary and far too open to scorn, ridicule and terrible searing humiliation

it's way the fuck too scary

you'd only do it as a last ditch attempt or if you were reasonably sure that it would work and if your small and medium gestures had been enthusiastically received and duly reciprocated instead of disapppearing into a black hole of ingratitude

which is a pity, because i think i'd have a flair for the kick ass, pull the stops out, no holds barred grand romantic gesture to end all romantic gestures

guess we'll never know

atonement

• spin biking class - 45 minutes (modelled on stage 7 of the tour de france)

thought i was going to have some sort of catastrophic event during the class today

it was the first class of the 6 week spin class challenge at the gym - at least 12 classes in 6 weeks and you get a free t shirt

(free, but it's gonna cost ya some on the way, savvy?)

sorry to the cute boys on the left, diagonal far right and directly behind me
i thought i was a bit smoother and a bit less odiferous and a bit more in shape that in actual fact i was
bet you're all glad i didn't have that panic/asthma/dying attack that i really thought was going to happen from the 7th minute of the class - i actually had an escape plan formulated

i'll remember my towel next time and that puddle i dripped on the floor from my head won't be quite so big

look, can we all just agree to make the next few weeks a montage and all the pain and sweating and unprettiness will be over, and i'll be triumphant and lean and curiously younger? 

thanks, i knew you'd see it my way XX

atonement

• running on treadmill - 5 minutes
• boxing - 30 minutes

atonement

• 15 minute walk on the treadmill
• 5 minute run on the treadmill (with added tears)
• 30 minute boxing session

i found my contact lenses as soon as i got home - i'd sweated and dripped and fogged all over my smart girl lisa loeb specs
and i found my gym membership card
and i'm now signed up to another gym challenge

endorphins are our friends

under the bell jar

i'm so good

i'm just so fucking good at looking after myself when i'm depressed

it snuck right the fuck up this time
and hit with unprecedented malice

like a blitzkrieg of a black hole

perhaps the 9 hours sleep spread over a 72 hour period in the weekend hastened and abetted the strike, which admittedly has been somewhat presaged by indicators i've been stalwartly trying to ignore

anyway, it'll be ok

it's just very tedious and draining

so i rented some movies to watch as a distraction

just you try and tell me these aren't the top five pick-me-ups of all time:

• into the wild
• requiem for a dream
• blow
• the basketball diaries
• magnolia

damn sophie's choice and watership down for being out

damn them to hell

awful bliss

"guaranteed sweetness that you thought broken

and you were not fine"

i'm not planning on sleeping anytime ever again, apparently

i'm still up (aside from 4 hours between 8 - 12 sunday morning) from my night shift that started at 2245 on saturday night that i only had broken 5 hours sleep before going to

i've been feasting on skins season 2, abe's bagel crisps (garlic), cadbury's fruit 'n nut chocolate, sprite zero and assorted other things i can lay my mitty mitty hands on while cocooned on my island

at least there's comfort in familiarity

even if it breeds (self) contempt

vitality

• T - 37.0
• P - 70 (reg)
• R - 17/min
• BP - 120/73
• sp02 - 98% RA

identity crisis (tv)

• cassie (skins)
• jackie (nurse jackie)
• ted (how i met your mother)
• liz (30 rock)
• meg (family guy)
• wilson (house)
• j.d (scrubs)
• carrie (sex and the city)
• eric (entourage)
• claire (six feet under)
• evan (the secret life of us)
• egg (this life)
• angela (my so called life)
• lisa (the simpsons)
• lindsay (freaks and geeks)
• joey (dawson's creek)
• velma (scooby doo)
• maggie (northern exposure)
• abby (e.r)
• darlene (roseanne)
• julia (party of five)

atonement

• boxing - 30 minutes

and i had to do giant big scary jumps
and i ran so fast i nearly threw up
but i did not

atonement

• boxing - 30 minutes
• pilates - 60 minutes

i feel less than ideal

and my hindenburg tonsil has grown it's own mini-me

urgh

and i just found chocolate melted onto my duvet cover

who in the hell put that there?

WHO?

lolcat of the day

oh yes

this works on so many levels

but you have to be fat, single and hungry to appreciate it

as if anyone's the trifecta of desperation

oh

wait

just

a

cotton

pickin'

minute

y'all

first of june - southern hemisphere

i snorted with amusement when i first saw this on teh interwebs

it reminds me of one of my favourite parts of 'reality bites' when ethan hawke as troy dyer answers the phone by saying "hello, you've reached the winter of our discontent"

and he angrily sings a violent femmes song at winona ryder's character

because he secretly loves her but he's all bothered and twisty inside, man

i wanted to be janeane garofalo's character, vickie - fat, sassy, smart and sarky

she had  a kickass music knowledge and killer one-liners

and was just the teensiest bit promiscuous

atonement

yesterday i walked the pineapple track with jenny from work
i chose to wear my black gym leggings with my multicoloured knee socks over the top

• to the start of the track from jenny's - 5km
• pineapple track - 5km
• end of track back to jenny's - 3km

so, if you do the math, you can quite clearly see that i walked approximately 93km

pineapples don't grow there, though

i checked

the queen of corona

monday, in the corona

EXQUISITELY LOUD

"i got a lot of things to do

a lot of places to go

i've got a lot of good things coming my way

and i'm afraid to say that you're not one of them"