atonement

ok, so today held a trick or three

first of all there was the humiliating measurements and assessments

• 
  
  height
• 
  
  weight
• 
  
  bmi
• 
  
  blood pressure
• 
  
  measurements of every possible chirstcumference (i TOLD myresa my right calf was bigger than the left calf, i told her, i told her)
• 
  
  fat pinching
• 
  
  photographs (front, side on and back views) taken in bike shorts and crop top

and then there was

• 
  
  spin bike class (45 minutes)

and the eating and the planning and the denial went swimmingly well until later on tonight when i realised i was into my third glass of wine and cigarettes may or may not have been smoked and there was a bowl in the kitchen that had the remnants of raspberry icecream and choc magic incriminatingly melted onto it

i only stopped paying rigorous attention to myself for one minute and look what happened

just LOOK

it's true

i AM my own worst enemy