java script

i'm unsure as to whether it falls under the category of "courting your arse until it hurts" but if someone was to bring me coffee at work here's some pointers they might want to consider:

trim milk. always. because i'm in constant battle with the roundiness and my old bones need the extra calcium low fat dairy products provide. no osteoporosis here!

flat white only. no cappuccino. no mocha. no short black. no thank you, sir

the size and strength of the trim flat white will depend upon the place of purchase. here's some pointers in this department, too

the fix: large, standard strength
muffin break the hospital: medium, extra shot

before you (and anyone else reading) thinks "what a demanding bitch"! just remember
(as well as 'don't ask, don't get'):

i will be chuffed no matter what you bring if you come to visit me

and then, oh, we can start over again