sunday, bloody sunday

i'd like to thank the corstorphine vandals who so completely and deliberately fucked up the windscreen on the mighty corona at 0210 this morning. silly me, the crash that awakened me at that time was not the wheelie bin being launched at the house, but you running over the bonnet of my car and jumping on the windscreen. i bet that was wicked fun, in fact, i know it was because as i was in my bed i heard you running up the street, laughing. thanks for making a great weekend even sweeter. i now realise smashing the side mirror off the car a couple of years ago and the giant cock you drew on it at the beginning of the year with a black vivid marker were just teasers as to what was to follow. good one, you're fulfilling your low socio-economic expectations brilliantly. i trust you'll keep it up.

thanks also to smith & smith glass, for routing me through about 72 people before taking 900 details only to say you'd call me back. sorry i was out, five hours later. i know it's unreasonable to expect a company that advertises itself in the yellow pages as a 24 hours, 7 days a week service to give me a ballpark figure for my windscreen. my windscreen on my car, you stupid bitch that talked to me. not my house. that windscreen is a-ok.

i'd also like to thank vodafone for the tremendous extra secret billing you've been sneaking onto my account, meaning that my internet access is now locked until you can sort it out on tuesday, neccessitating me to channel this rant through dial-up. that's all i'll say about this now, you'll have to wait until the episode of 'target' is screened on national tv. i'm not fucking joking.

people who are NOT on my hate list today include (but are not neccessarily limited to):

>my fambily. i have love for you
>myresa. i have love for you
>mykaryn. i have love for you
>constable from dunedin south who came to visit me. i have professional respect for you, and it hurt not one iota that you were very cute, very funny and around about my age
>somebody who called me on my cell and had an actual empathetic conversation with me about my worst sunday evurrrrrrrrr. i have gratefulness towards you

i am quite really very thankful that it's not the week of the drinking ban. silver lining, silver lining. i'll keep muttering that to myself as i play my new death cab for cutie cd that i had to buy myself to cheer myself up. i love you benjamin gibbard, we should collaborate on something together.