tell me why i don't like mondays

wake up, the pillow will be stuck to your face, giving you the most atomic smush face you've suffered thus far in your life. you feel you must be genetically prone to it, because the noppets gets it pretty bad, too

gradually, over a 2 minute period you become aware of the fact that you really do feel substantially less than ideal and you will begin to recall the circumstances leading up to feeling substantially less than ideal

the solution to this is to stay in bed. forever. the end.

apparently, this is not a viable option, so:

get up and have a shower and get dressed. eye damage from the drunken hysterics will be 9/10, so sunglasses may be in order

your cellphone will ring, and it's not a mysterioso debt collector, it's whitcoulls saying "hey little chirsty! you can has big bang theory today!" yay, perhaps its not going to be such a bad day after all

then you'll remember the one particular shameful event from the preceding evening that is going to make you feel shithouse for a long time. mitigating circumstances, extreme provocation over a longspan timeline and truckloads of booze are not excuses. the rule (adhered to thus far, well since 1995) is that we use our words to solve our problems

go to the whitcoulls for the big bang. go to the mornington bakery for the carbs and cream filled delights that make some headway in restoring your tenuous balance today. balance will be shaken a little when mykaryn looks at you and says "oh dear. what's wrong with your eyes"?

the rest of the day shall be spent watching the big bang theory and being disappointed and annoyed at yourself that you just couldn't wait and most of the snippets you've watched on youtube are all on the dvds. sigh. it's so unlike you to get ahead of yourself in any arena of your life. you're a very patient and good person who waits for things to happen in their own time

make dinner for the fambily. drink some nice cold stella. trade ralph wiggum quotes with friends in wellington on the facebook

you'll be craving something snacky and crunchy, and you have nothing in that line because you try to buy only healthy food because of aforementioned restraint, so you'll end up munching on dry 2 minute noodles (which you now have to brush out of the bed) sigh

no headway was made on transformation of room that looks like a whole life threw up in it. none whatsoever
no exercise was partaken in. none whatsoever

big sigh

i vow i will become a brand new shiny good example of human kind

starting tomorrow




obviously